01 Apr We must treasure of tamariki
Working inside the family violence sector certainly can be complex and challenging at times. It can be heart breaking. None more so, than when finding out about the abuse of children. To most of us, the thought of hurting a defenceless child seems abhorrent and despicable. Yet we have a national wall of shame. A child dies every five and a half weeks as a result of non-accidental injuries. 90% of these deaths are perpetrated by someone the child knew. Most of these children are under 5 years old, and the largest group is less than a year old. Child abuse financially costs NZ around $2 billion each year.
Myth: It’s only abuse if it’s violent. Reality: Wrong. You can do serious long-lasting damage if you verbally abuse, scream at, put down or exploit your power over a child.
Myth: Abused children hate their parents and want to get away from them. Reality: Wrong. Most children who have been abused by their parents still have a strong attachment or love for their parents and want to remain living with them. What they really want is the abuse to stop.
Myth: If children don’t witness family violence, they are not affected by it. Reality: Wrong. Children can sense what is going on, may hear arguing and see the harm to people or property, and will be emotionally and psychologically affected by the violent behaviour.
Like most aspects of family violence we need to look at some of the societal and cultural beliefs that over time have become normalised as acceptable behaviour. We need to ask questions of ourselves, destroy the myths and acknowledge the realities so we can be leaders and come together as a community to make positive changes.
James Baldwin said “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them”. What this means is the behaviour we exhibit in front of our children will more often than not be the behaviour they exhibit to their children.
What can I do?
1. Step Up. Be prepared to do something to make a child’s life better or safer. It can take just one person to make a real difference.
2. Step Out. Look for community support for the family. Barnardos, Strengthening Families, Family Works, Plunket, Oranga Tamariki. If it’s an emergency and you suspect a child is at serious risk – call 111.
Dane Haskell
Co-ordinator
Taranaki Safe Families Trust
Email: tsft@xtra.co.nz